My Maine Man

December 31, 2008 at 12:42 AM | Posted in ✦ Chronicles | Leave a comment

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:

A guy walks into a bar, gets drunk off his ass, and later that evening the same ass is found… in the driver’s seat of a renegade zamboni.

Adam Patterson, a resident of Vacationland and employee of the Cumberland County Civic Center, is being held without bail, pending trial on charges of aggravated criminal mischief and D.Z.U.I. (Driving a Zamboni Under the Influence). Apparently he broke into the office after hours and decided to take more than the usual pack of pens and post-it pads.

2005vbcspongebobzamboni2largeWhile this particular crime may seem humorous, I shudder to think what would have happened if the ‘Capades were in Portland, ME.

It’s a cold, cruel world out there folks. Is anyone else wondering if the workmen’s comp premiums for skating mascots are gonna skyrocket?

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